I have come to realize that I am definitely far from being super human as other mothers claim to be. Last September I attempted to journey into the field of blogging but my one and only blog post was of course last September. At the time, Amina was getting ready to start Pre-Kindergarten and Hayden had just turned 2 months old. I had gotten my husband excited with the various angles and spins I was going to take with my individualized extra curricular activity. I was excited and others whom I shared this idea with were excited for me. Having a new baby was going to reunite the flame that became deem from all the task, activities and over commitments to the "Walters Crews" current life. Not to say that I lacked ambition before, but having a second and being on maternity leave was going to redefine my reality and maybe if other mothers and people in general became interested hopefully I would be able to inspire a broad range of people that in my everyday life I would not be able to connect with.
In the mist of managing all of our family commitments, preparing Amina for Kindergarten and working to get her into a good school, I wanted to journey into the state of self thought and reflection by exploring all the things impacting my life from a married-mother and most importantly African American perspective.
I was a motivated mama, taking the world by both hands and saying I can do this!!! I began going back to journaling when I felt the need to reflect on something that was occurring or at least when I thought might be of future significance. I remember writing about how stressful it was taking a short rode trip from Philadelphia to DC by myself with Amina and Hayden and trying to drive as fast I could in order avoid having to stop for feeding and bathroom breaks. I told Amina that she couldn't drink anything because I knew that if she got even one ounce of water in her system we would have to make a minimum of two stops for her to use the bathroom.
While I knew that others would be able to connect to situations such as this... I realized that it takes time to actually write, edit and post.So what happened??? Life happened!!! I realized that I was mom who did not have a personal assistant, connections or insane access to material resources so that I could have these moments of reflection. All I had was whatever I remembered at the moment and with a second child and even more commitments, remembering to post to my blog was not apart of my immediate memory. Quickly the reality of managing a full time career in early childhood education, preparing to take the state social work licensure exam, dedicating quality time to my children in both the home and school setting, extra curricular activities and of course finding time in the evenings to have meaningful conversations and well spent time with my husband all crashed down on me.
My days on average would begin around 6:15 am and most often ended at 10:30 pm. In between those time frames, I'm feeding, pumping, putting on coffee, preparing breakfast, getting clothes together, showering, dressing children, gathering bags and other crap to take with us to our respective locations whether work or school, dropping off, going to work, pumping at work, picking up from school, assisting with dinner, feeding, preparing the kids for bed by 8:30 pm, cleaning the kitchen and takings care of what ever needed around the house. And then you can't forget the weekends...play dates, birthday parties, swim lessons, dance rehearsal, etc. etc.
I saying...I am involved in the life of my children and husband therefore the opportunity to engage in self thought was low on my priority list. I guess this is what makes me a mom. We often neglect ourselves for the well-being of others. Especially when you add to the mix that you are trying to raise healthy, educated, independent, confident, African American children in a world that is corrupt with the need for instant gratification, so called "overnight success" and competition.
So with this post, and getting all of my excuses out of the way, I see this as my new beginning to impact others. The reality is I have even more even more commitments, Hayden just a week from being 1 years old, Amina will be starting a new school in the fall and some of our closest friends have moved or are moving out of the area therefore in the coming months we are going to be even busier so I just need to start somewhere...so here I go... see you back here in a week!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Monday, September 5, 2011
Come on now
In the day when everyone has a blog or something to say about the state of the American Economy and the impact it has on everyday people... I realize that there are many things not being said. No one is talking about the impact it is having on the middle class, more specifically the African American middle class. As a mother of two small children, a wife and a full time educated professional, I realize that in this great debate about the many systems in America that need reformation, there is no one advocating for my needs.
I have been working in some capacity since before I was legally eligible to work. Whether I was baby sitting family members or friends of the family's children or teaching dance at the local dance studio in which I belonged. As I reflect back,I think the first valuable job I held was as a usher at the local performing arts theater in La Mirada, CA. It was a remarkable opportunity getting to witness breath taking performances and getting paid at the same time; not to mention that I was making six dollars an hour while the rest of the country was making less than five dollars, and this was in 1998. Since that time, I have held steady employment (through the grace of God). Even in college when I was a full time student at Hampton University I stayed employed.
I say all this to say, I am not like the picture the media paints as someone who has stretched the system, but rather some one who has graciously contributed to the system but I am not the only one.
So as I speak in present terms, both my husband and I are college educated and hold dual masters in Social Work and Law and Social Policy from one of the country's prestigious colleges'. So it does not make sense that every day we have a conversation about the expenses associated with providing for our two children in addition to the cost associated with staying current with monthly mortgage payments, student loans, child care and school, food, diapers and health coverage. Just thinking about child care alone, we spend more than $1600 a month for child care for our children just so that we will have quality care in place in order to maintain full time employment and have access to health care benefits. With the addition of our newborn son I have thought about the cost/benefits associated with becoming a stay at home mother to eliminate some of these expenses but then the reality hits, no work no health care and... would it make sense to try put my student loans in forbearance? But wait... the world is in a recession. If I left my job in this time of great crisis, I would have difficulty reentering the system.
I know that my family is not alone in this debate but there are great numbers of African Americans who are speaking this same language without complaints. We pay our taxes and teach our families the importance of hard work and helping your fellow man in spite of the seeing those put in office to represent our needs continually speak for big corporations who pay less taxes then us.
In the last two years, how many jobs have the banks, oil companies, wall street and the many companies owned my members of congress created? Tax breaks should be contingent upon job growth outcomes. Oil Company exec's continue to make billions because the American people have to pay over $3.50 a gallon to drive to places of employment that barely make ends meet. Therefore the question that continually comes to mind is, why is it more important for corporations to go without paying their share of taxes with the hope that jobs will be created for the American people?
I have been working in some capacity since before I was legally eligible to work. Whether I was baby sitting family members or friends of the family's children or teaching dance at the local dance studio in which I belonged. As I reflect back,I think the first valuable job I held was as a usher at the local performing arts theater in La Mirada, CA. It was a remarkable opportunity getting to witness breath taking performances and getting paid at the same time; not to mention that I was making six dollars an hour while the rest of the country was making less than five dollars, and this was in 1998. Since that time, I have held steady employment (through the grace of God). Even in college when I was a full time student at Hampton University I stayed employed.
I say all this to say, I am not like the picture the media paints as someone who has stretched the system, but rather some one who has graciously contributed to the system but I am not the only one.
So as I speak in present terms, both my husband and I are college educated and hold dual masters in Social Work and Law and Social Policy from one of the country's prestigious colleges'. So it does not make sense that every day we have a conversation about the expenses associated with providing for our two children in addition to the cost associated with staying current with monthly mortgage payments, student loans, child care and school, food, diapers and health coverage. Just thinking about child care alone, we spend more than $1600 a month for child care for our children just so that we will have quality care in place in order to maintain full time employment and have access to health care benefits. With the addition of our newborn son I have thought about the cost/benefits associated with becoming a stay at home mother to eliminate some of these expenses but then the reality hits, no work no health care and... would it make sense to try put my student loans in forbearance? But wait... the world is in a recession. If I left my job in this time of great crisis, I would have difficulty reentering the system.
I know that my family is not alone in this debate but there are great numbers of African Americans who are speaking this same language without complaints. We pay our taxes and teach our families the importance of hard work and helping your fellow man in spite of the seeing those put in office to represent our needs continually speak for big corporations who pay less taxes then us.
In the last two years, how many jobs have the banks, oil companies, wall street and the many companies owned my members of congress created? Tax breaks should be contingent upon job growth outcomes. Oil Company exec's continue to make billions because the American people have to pay over $3.50 a gallon to drive to places of employment that barely make ends meet. Therefore the question that continually comes to mind is, why is it more important for corporations to go without paying their share of taxes with the hope that jobs will be created for the American people?
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